Spring Sprang

What the fuck happened to us? We're all late in our 30's or early 40's (except Justin, he's so much older than the rest of us). Life has passed us by.

Justin and I still talk occaionally.
I haven't spoken to Chase in years. Although we've texted. Jared/Jed has been non existent from our lives for more than 10+ years.
Some day, we'll all die. I hope this blog still exists on the internet for us to reread later to remind us of that time for a year in our late 20's when we tried to rekindle what we had in that small town. Nothing was as good as those times, but everything has been better, if that makes sense.

When you guys inevitably come back to read this on a whim. Check in with me. Jed. WE ALL NEED YOUR FUCKING PHONE NUMBER. Twat.

Goodbye.

Remember this?

Hey guys.

I stumbled upon this yesterday and read a lot of the old stuff. These were fun times. It didn't last forever but it was fun for a while. Can you believe we had 90 posts? Way to go. 

See you in another life.

I

Think you guys are dickz.

Hello...

Can anybody hear me?

Somebody say something...

I wonder, are you alive???

I Don't Know Why, But...

This is so hot to me

Humor

So, I have met some folk whilst my time in NOLA. Two of the more interesting people are these friends who have professional jobs by day and hardcore rappers at night. I have even becomes [sic] homies with one of the guys. These two bros [pronounced 'brahs'] are white rappers who bring the fun back to rap. Or something.

Ballzack - "Rainbow In Marrero"


Odoms - "Keeping Up With The Jetsons"

Funny People Was...

Funny but it ran kind of long. Did anyone else think so?

You Sorry Sacks of Summer Slothfulness

Fellas,

What is up? How have the long dog-days of summer been treating you? We haven't done anything together. It's understandable. I know we're all busy. I work 85 hours a week (which, if you're doing the math is five, 17.5 hour-long days). I make a crazy amount of money for that (about $1,100 bi-weekly) for, get this, sleeping 7-8 hours a night. Truthfully, I play a lot of Xbox and watch movies (currently watching 2nd season of Entourage), too. Basically, I do, 3-4 hours of real work.

But...

I am so tired of it. I can't go to see live music. I can't leave town. I can't just take a day off without having to schedule it. I can't do anything. I go to a casino like two nights a week. I drink and waste money. That's my life. I'm tired and I'm old.

So...

I'm looking for a new job. Something in education, hopefully teaching. I'm actually going to stay in town and try to attend Tulane University. Tulane is consistently voted in the Top 100 Colleges and Universities in America by Princeton Review every year. I'm excited about the possibility of graduating from a "real" school.

Well...

Some friends and I are looking for a house. Please know that you all have a standing invitation to visit. And if I have the space to put you up for a few nights, then you're welcome to stay with me. If not, I still make a terrific tour guide.

Love ya brahs, ya heard me!

(New Orleans is rubbing off on me.)

Bofunk in Podunk

Been hanging out with the mom and the brother and our new pup, Jasper, a miniature schnauzer.
Put Donna's grandma in nursing home this week. No other option. She's adjusting well but raises hell when she sees or talks to any of the family.
Won a name your own toy-based movie contest. Am waiting to see if I win the same contest on Slate.
Was thinking of you guys yesterday and the proof is I bought you something from the candy aisle. So, I need your addresses. And if you can, supply me with William Michael's also.

Hey guys, I just wanted to let you all know that I was thinking of you. I appreciate our friendships very much and it makes me smile to remember how comfortable I am around you all. Here's hoping we get to see each other soon....

Love,
Jed

Independence Day

Friends, what about North Florida during July the 4th weekend? I have to work the weekend prior, so this would be the best for me. What about you all? 2-4 days for us? I say we do something criminal at or to BCF. Only misdemeanors though, I don't want jail time.

Let me know.

The Summer Has Started

My advice to all of you is to go see Star Trek as soon as humanly possible. Even if you are not a Trek fan, this one may change your tune. It was amazing, thrilling, funny, and just pretty much had sex with my face. J.J Abrams is a god among men, plain and simple. I think after Lost ends next season he should focus on doing an actual Star Trek tv series with this cast. I doubt it will actually happen, but I couldn't help but wish he would after seeing this movie last night. It truly blew me away.

Sage Advice

1. Don't collect unicorns.
2. Don't clean your eye wear with your tongue.
3. Don't wear face paint in a sit down restaurant.
4. Moisturize.
5. Don't hold it when you have to potty. It will eventually kill you.
6. Throw out undershirts with pit stains.
7. Spray-on tanning doesn't work.
8. Don't change for anyone, unless your wearing a diaper.
9. Let people help you move heavy furniture or just let them do it.
10. Block harassing phone calls.
11. Always have a spare.
12. Remember: you are white.
13. Don't get a firearm, you may be tempted to use it.
14. Return calls.
15. Don't stab anyone, but if you must, use a stake made of ice.
16. Forgo the need to forgive, simply lower your expectations.
17. Massage!! Massage!! Massage!! Anyone in need, give them a squeeze. Anytime, anywhere.
18. Know that your life may never be as good as it is right now. It could get worse.
19. Always stop lists at nineteen. It leaves people hungry for more.
    

I Don't Know What You Want From Me

So, gentlemen sans Mike, here we find ourselves together again. I want to quickly express that I enjoyed seeing you three fellows. Spending time with you guys, whilst smoking and drinking, make for an enjoyable weekend. I love you guys and I hope you know it.

Jed: Congrats on marrying a girl who truly makes you happy. I hope your life together gets better every year.

Justin: I enjoyed our conversations. It almost felt like skipping BCF chapel and eating IHOP.

Chase: Thanks for keeping me company on the trip. I'm glad we don't fight like old married people any more. Thanks for listening to my shit.

I have discovered that I was not accepted to any school I was applying to for doctoral programs. So, now, I do not know what I will do. At the moment, I am staying in the crime-filled (and now the newest cases of Swine Flu) New Orleans. I will get a job promotion and find a new place to live. I'll let you know if anything changes.

I saw Death Cab For Cutie Saturday night with Matt Costa and Ra Ra Riot. This was not my first time seeing them live, but it was the best. I'll leave you now with this:

"We're not the same dear as we used to be. The seasons have changed and so have we.
There was little we could say, and even less we could do. To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you." - Death Cab For Cutie

How do you fit 300 Jews into a Volkswagen Beetle?

Thanks for letting me come drink at your wedding Jared Allen.

I think the weekend of weddings and open bars was one of the best times I have had in a long time. Seeing all you guys was really good for me.  I felt like our friendships are just as strong now as they were back in Graceville days. Granted we have all matured and our paths dont cross as often as we would like, but I think it makes us enjoy the times they do even more.

I think the beauty of our friendships is that we are always honest with each other. We all obviously have different views on faith, religion, good music, if Jeff's hair is pretty, and in my case..monogomy.  However I don't think it has affected how we relate to each other. I think it all makes for some great debates, and I know I took alot away from the conversations I had with all of you that weekend. I just wish we could all hang out more often.

Mike told me once we got back to Orlando that this was one of the best weekends he has ever had in his life, and I think it really helped him with his situation.  Ryan said he really enjoyed getting to know you guys, though he may never come back to Jacksonville since Carl tried to molest him.

All I have to say is that I really miss you guys. I wish we all lived closer in proximity. At least we have this blog and the phone right? I also wanted to ask what you guys think of maybe inviting Mike to write here as well?  Let me know.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go take a ride on the Confederate Railroad. Have a day.

Let's Review

Jed is now Jared.
Justin rocks the Confederate Railroad.
Jeff has pretty hair.
My new glasses were approved of by Jared.
Scott gained 5 pounds!
Mike has walked away from Airwalks.
Ryan ain't nobody's monkey.

Jared does not believe in God.
Justin believes in a smoke break savior, depending on when you ask.
Jeff extends his friendship to these unbelieving ones.
The verdict is still out on me.
Scott is not orthodox.
Mike's faith has been made stronger by BS dealt him of late.
Ryan subscribes to belief in trans-humanism.

Jared loves a hot woman, depending on when you ask.
Justin accepted an invitation from Carl to go clubbing.
Jeff loves a black woman, depending on when you ask.
I'm getting a divorce, if you listen to Neil.
Scott does not understand the question, "how's married life?"
Mike did not invite me to his wedding, but did invite me to the after-party.
Ryan has sexual relations with milk.

Jared has been consistently employed longer than any of us.
Justin is an independent film producer or starving artist, depending on when you ask.
Jeff is good at his job, but would rather be someplace else.
I am unemployed and anxious.
Scott is a teacher at risk of losing his job.
Mike considers EMT school.
Ryan needs no employment as Cyborgs eat whatever and sleep whenever they like.

Jared has recently moved back to Jacksonville.
Justin will remain in Orlando.
Jeff knows not what tomorrow holds.
I vow to never move again.
Mike likely will move to Orlando.

Jared is married.
Justin shudders at the thought of marriage.
Jeff has many questions.
I vow to never marry again, unless Donna dies and then probably within a week.
Scott tries to find a loophole so he can marry a church father.
Mike holds steady.
Cyborgs don't marry, they decimate the ones they love.

And we all live happily ever after...until we die and then who knows?!?

Love you guys,

Events Forthcoming

So I wanted to touch base with you guys about next weekend. I spoke with Jeff the other day and I realized I hadn't really been as informative as I could have been. So here goes..

The wedding on Saturday starts at 5:30, the only thing to worry about there is a drawbridge that's on the road. Sometimes it can raise for 20 minutes whenever a boat comes, so be prepared and come early.

But.... On Friday we are still having a party at my place. I know I have mentioned it to all of you before, but I was a little too generous when handing out spots at my place to stay. So far we have four people staying at our place and we can't really handle anymore. If we had a house and more than one bathroom, it might be different. I know I told you guys you could crash here but believe me when I say you guys aren't the only ones I've had to call and correct that with. I feel like an idiot, but oh well.

Needless to say, I would loooove for you guys to be here on Friday night. I know Mike won't read this so I'm counting on Justin to pass this along. I've already talked to him about it, but I've been told you're his transport. There will be six of you total I guess (Mike is bringing a friend in place of his ex-bitch) and I figured you could get together and work something out to everyone's benefit. That being said, I understand if any of you can't make it. Times is tight and so are vaginas. I will miss you but I'll see you on Saturday.

So discuss this and comment and let's see what can get worked out. All my very gayest love.

J-rod

Where the awesome movies are...

So this be the trailer for that new Spike Jonze joint. I hope this movie turns out as epically dramatic as this clip. It's got an acoustic version of one of Arcade Fire's best tracks. Good stuff, what do you guys think?

my dog is dead

I am sad.