These Eyes...

Times are tough for many living in the USA today. Nobody denies that. I guess all of us, despite any present dilemmas we face, are living pretty well. None of us are millionaires yet (unless Justin's movie makes a ton this year), but we are living better than we did in Graceville, and certainly better than much of the populace in America.

With that said, did you all hear that Circuit City is bankrupt and closing nationwide? What does this mean for us? Following Best Buy, Circuit City is the second largest electronic retailer. I am not one who usually worries too much about the current economic crisis because it does not overtly affect me. I am a bit cynical when it comes to all things that scare and shock people, including what happens in government. When everyone started needing a bailout my ears perked up. But, now with Circuit City closing, it seems that everything is going down the toilet. If they have trouble staying in business, what will happen next? I read a little bit about their situation, and they were having issues before the recession. Yet, the fact that they are bankrupt reflects the times we are living in.

Don't get me wrong, I love buying things at low cost, and then reselling it to unknowing people on the internet. That's how I supplement my income. I guess we will benefit from Circuit City's demise because we can purchase electronics, software, movies, and music at reduced prices. That's great. We had a store close in New Orleans recently, and I made a killing. My advice: just don't blow your life savings at a store going out of business.

my dad taught me how to play hooky

Christmas week, I only had to work Monday and Tuesday. The rest was Federal Holiday-paid time off for me. In fact, I took off Tuesday afternoon a couple hours early because my heart wasn't in it. I was just occupying space. Things had increasingly been of this nature for most of December. I've not seen much sunlight and the wintertime grays and temperature drops catch up with me quickly. Christmas was a pretty big production and with Donna's mom and grandmother being sick, Donna and I took most of the responsibility on ourselves. So, it turned out that I didn't get much rest Christmas week.

I returned to work and was still dragging tail. I got through the shift with little to show for it. The next morning I phoned in that I was not feeling well. By that evening I had concluded that I would take the following day as well. I had not been out in months. The job was getting to me. I was indeed facing adrenal exhaustion. It was hard to resist that second day out as it would give me three days in a row as the third day was New Years' Day. These days were a kind of odyssey or a play in three acts. I would be revived.

I slept a lot. I strolled around in my pajamas until the afternoon, something I hadn't done in years. I drank a lot of juice and breathed deeply. I played with the dog and talked about things with Donna. I gave a lot of serious thought and reflection to my circumstance. I determined I either have to do my job differently or I have to do a different job. It's for my health and for the wellfare of my loved ones. I cannot maintain these high levels of anxiety and stress. I've got to let go, remember the serenity prayer-all that.

I returned on Friday and it wasn't so terrible. My focus was somewhat restored, even my ambition was appropriate. Those three days were more useful than I could have planned or imagined. I thought the benefit of a day off was to not have to go, but now I see time away can give renewed energy. I don't know what's going to happen exactly. I have not yet determined if it's the job or how I do it. I won't do anything rash, you bastards, so don't worry. I just got to prioritize.

Here's to the weekend.